Whats it all about?

Ok, so here I am sat at work, Pc demanding I draw things on it, when I do, it makes me wait about. Does it serve me? seems most of time I start and it takes over and leads me where it will.

Do our plans and dreams go this way? we start out, fresh ideas, new breath into old plans, vigour, courage, excitment, but soon were born along by other forces, we trim, cut, and tailor our plans to suit the world, others have demands, requests, in the end are we really living how we choose? or just living in some delusion, in reality we just flow about like all the others, yet were dis-illusioned into thinking were in control, we have the power and the choice.

Maybe its good tho, we feel good, feel free, is a life spent illuded, blisfully unaware of the reality, is it a life of happiness and fulfilment? Are we free because we choose to feel so? are we at peace because of our choice? Do we live a dream simply because we believe we do?

Is belief the dream in itself?

Mind Control

What is it about our mind that prevents us from doing things we dream of? Why do we fear things? Rationally it isnt that dangerous, in fact to jump off would be fine, so why cant I push up, over and beyond the crux? Is it trust in the rock? the gear? or more likely trust in myself and my control over my self.

How do I work on this? can I gain more control over myself, push the fear away, be stronger in body and mind. Know my limits and push beyond them.

Sitting in an office I know I can climb harder, lead more, break into new ground. 2 inches of the ground and Im flashing 5c, but above some gear. Its not the same.

Work on this, fight the fear etc, must train and must grow